Love Yourself First

"You have to get to a place where you see yourself as God sees you. And also love yourself like you deserve to be loved, because it's impossible to have the expectation of experiencing true love and somebody respecting you the way that they should if you don't do it for yourself." We can't find real love before we have learned to love and respect ourselves.

Improving Yourself & Self Love

When it comes to improving yourself being able to take constructive criticism is an important part of the journey. Our friends and loved ones, plus potentially a boss or mentor, are the people in our lives that are most likely going to be able to give us constructive criticism. Once we have figured out what people we want to allow to speak into our lives we can decide to open ourselves up to criticism. If your friends or loved ones aren't very good at giving constructive criticism it can be a good idea to say something like: "I really want to change but could you please make your feedback constructive so that I can learn from it".

When someone gives us constructive criticism it really becomes all about being able to listen without getting defensive. It's important to remember that criticism doesn't mean that we are not good people or really bad at something, it just means that there are areas where we can still improve. It's also good to remember that nobody is perfect, we all need to continue to grow, each one of us just might need to grow in different areas.

When we love ourselves we can start looking at the parts of our character that still needs work and admit to ourselves that "yeah, I really need to work on that". The fact that we have issues doesn't mean we are of less value than someone else, it's just a sign that we are human. Love yourself and keep caring for yourself by committing to self improvement every year.

My Big Ego

One of the more surprising truths I have learned about life so far is that having a big ego will only cause you trouble in life. When I was about 15 years old I was the most selfish I have ever been in life so far. It makes sense, most teens are quite self-centered. I remember that my mother used you tell me “You are so selfish” at least once per day during this phase in my life. She was right. I was selfish and I always wanted things to go my own way. I was self-centered, mean, rude and low on empathy.

Looking back I’m still grateful that I had a really selfish phase back in high school because it thought me so much about life. I learned early on that living a selfish life just doesn’t work. Living life with a big ego won’t just hurt those around you, it will also hurt you. Many people think that they need to be selfish to protect themselves from getting hurt or being stepped on in life. Many people still believe that unless I am tough and loud I won’t be heard or taken seriously. I have noticed that it’s sometimes very surprising how much people will respect you and listen to your opinion if you are loving and kind.

You might think “but if I stop being tough people will take advantage of me.” I have noticed that we often mix up being selfish with self love. Self love means that you love and respect yourself, which means you will speak up for yourself when somebody hurt you or try to use you for example. You take care of yourself and won’t let people treat you badly. You do these things because you know that you are valuable and deserve to be treated with love and respect from everyone around you. You aren’t easily upset by others because you know that what they say about you are only opinions, it’s never the truth.

There are many ways we can speak up for ourselves without having to be rude or disrespectful of others. People are also much more likely to listen to someone who speaks to them in a respectful way versus someone who is loud and rude.

One of my life goals is to continue to “shrink my ego”. I know that the smaller my ego gets the better I will become at relationships and the more loving I will become. I also want to continue to become better at Self Love, because I know that I need to love myself well to be able to love others.

A less selfish person will make decisions that are best for everyone, not just best for him or herself. I know what life becomes when you choose the selfish road. Life is great in the beginning, you get everything you want and nobody can stop you from reaching your goals, but in the end you are left with a lot of people who you have hurt including yourself.

Selfish people are terrible at relationships and sooner or later our own selfishness will sabotage our relationships. The only way to do well in this life is to learn to love yourself and others well, because the human experience is all about relationships. We interact daily with our spouse, friends, co-workers, neighbors, family members, our kids etc. The better you are at love, the better your life will become. Love is not selfish, love is kind.

 

Self Love Gives You Freedom

When we don't love ourselves life can get really hard. We all know that it's bad to be selfish and sometimes we think that we are selfish if we love ourselves, but it's quite the opposite. How we treat others will always be connected to how we treat and view ourselves. The better we get at loving ourselves the better we will also get at loving others. Every single relationship we have will be affected by the relationship we have with ourselves. Every time you grow yourself it will have a direct impact on every relationship in your life. You can't change other people, but you can change yourself.


One way that not loving ourselves can make us selfish is that we become obsessed with what other people say or think about us. We spend a lot of time thinking about these things. When we don't get the love we need from ourselves we become more needy with others, we develop a need for constant validation from others. We also become more easily angered and offended when we don't love ourselves. What others say about us becomes more important than it should be, so when others don't like something about us we get offended. When we learn to love ourselves we free up our minds to focus on other things. We know that we are good the way we are and understand that how others view us does not define us.


I think that one of the keys to a more loving society is each one us learning to first give ourselves the love and respect we need. Once we have learned to love ourselves our focus will naturally become less about me and more about others.

Love Yourself

Erin Janus does a good job at motivating us all to prioritize teaching ourselves self-love. We have a choice to make, we can either live life being controlled by our own minds or we can learn to take control of our minds. It is possible to learn to control your negative thoughts so that they will no longer hold you back in life.

Love yourself first

Self Love, why is it so difficult? Many of us have relationships with the woman in the mirror that aren't very positive.We have to love ourselves first to be able to love others. A person who hates himself will not be very loving towards others.


Louie Giglio is a wise man with a powerful message about self love. I like what he has to say about "receiving with the shovel, but dispensing with a spoon." Once we fully understand how much we are loved we will be able to offer that same great love to others. Here's the description of the sermon from LifeChurch's homepage:


"You were never meant to be perfect. You were created to be loved. So why is it so hard to love ourselves? It's not a simple answer. Maybe it's time to take a look at your relationship with the Man in the Mirror."