Finding Contentment

Youtuber Leah's Essence shares a great video about contentment on her channel. The funny thing about contentment is that it works very differently than we assume. Most people assume that the way to a happy life is to make sure all your dreams come true, but reality looks quite different than that. If I dream of getting healthy, traveling the world, getting married, buying a house and having two kids I will soon realize that none of those things will make me happy long-term. There is definitely a high that comes from seeing a dream come true, but that high doesn't last very long. Very soon we have to start chasing some new dream again to experience that same high.


Contentment is not found when all your dreams come true, contentment is only found in a close relationship with God. These past five years have been the happiest years of my life, every week I thank God for the amazing blessings I get to experience on a weekly basis. I have a close and personal relationship with God that keeps growing more intimate every year. I have amazing people in my life who I love and who love me.


Many of my biggest dreams have come true in my life while others are not even close to coming true yet. Today I don't chase my dreams because I believe they will make me happy, today my dreams are all about fulfilling my life's mission and purpose. The last five years have been the happiest in my life but they have not been the easiest years in my life. It's not an easy or comfortable life that leads to happiness, it's knowing God and knowing my purpose that fills every new day with incredible joy, excitement, wonder and gratitude.


I can honestly say that if I died tomorrow I would have lived a completely full life. There are zero things on my bucket list right now that I feel that I must experience before I die. I have already reached the goal of this life; to love God and love other people fully. Every new day I get from now on is just an extra blessing. I have absolutely no fear of death at all. I have fears to fight in my life, but fear of death is not one of them. I look forward to the future and enjoy coming up with new dreams to work towards, but there is absolutely nothing more that I need in my life to be happy. Happiness is here, I have arrived.


The funny thing is that all the chasing after happiness never led me anywhere good. Lasting happiness is not found in a romantic relationship, another trip, a new car, a big house, the dream job etc. Happiness that lasts is found in knowing the One true God who created you, and becoming fully aware of why you are here on Earth today.

Marriage is not for You

Everything from Disney movies to romantic comedies has taught us that marriage will bring ultimate happiness and fulfillment to our lives. Anyone who is married can testify to the fact that this is untrue. One reason marriage will not bring us ultimate happiness is because we marry a human-being, not a fairytale prince/princess. Real people are really messed up, we all are. We have fears and bad habits that our significant other will have to "embrace".

Marriage wasn't created by God to make us happy, but to point to what God's love for humanity looks like. A healthy and joy filled marriage is a picture that God created to point to what His love for us looks like. It's a love that never ends. It's a love that is patient, kind and not self-serving. It's a love that perseveres through hardship.

Marriage can certainly bring happiness to our lives but if we think that happiness is the point our marriages will suffer and probably end up in divorce. True love doesn't say: "what can he/she do for me?" True love is focused on serving the other person. True love will always include self-sacrifice. In a relationship where there is no self-sacrifice at all there is no real love. We will love few people on Earth as much as our own children and every parent knows that a lot of self-sacrifice is involved in parenting. Real love is not self-serving.

When you have two people in a marriage who are both focused on serving their spouse, not on getting what they want out of the relationship, you will see a marriage that flourishes. When I'm fully committed to serving my husband and meeting his needs and he is fully committed to serving me and meeting my needs we both end up happy. On the other hand, if we both choose to focus on making ourselves happy in the marriage we will end up competing with each other and have a lot of conflict. God loves humanity so much that he came down himself to die for all our sins. When I choose to model what Jesus did, to die to my own selfishness and choose an others-focused life I flourish.

You'd think that if I make my own happiness my main focus in life that would make me happy, but it doesn't. We were not created to live isolated lives but to live in community with others. When you have a community full of people focused on their own happiness, it makes sense that you will not see a lot of love in that community. When I learn to live an others-focused life and surround myself with a whole community full of people who are also focused on serving rather than getting, I end up surrounded by real love.

Vicki's Search for Meaning and Purpose

Growing up in New York City, Vicki had always thought that being rich, famous, and in Women's Wear Daily would bring happiness and fulfillment. But after all those things had happened, she was still empty. Gnawingly so. Watch her story and discover how this gnawing emptiness was finally filled.

4x7: Coryn Epps

Coryn Epps shares her story at Oasis Church in Los Angeles. Coryn talks about how she spent many years of her life building her identity based on the praises and attention she got from other people. Coryn was chasing happiness in all the wrong places and over time she ended up in a hopeless place. Coryn developed an eating disorder and depression and was wondering what her purpose was in life. After learning about Jesus everything changed and Coryn was able to take the same passion she had felt toward pursuing success and apply it toward loving other people.

A rich life with less stuff

Most people are aware that research shows that more stuff isn't going to make us any happier or more fulfilled in life. We have read the reports, but why is it so hard to stop buying and wanting more stuff? Us humans have a natural built-in drive to strive for more, for better lives. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting more, the problem might rather be what we want more of. Do we want more love, joy, meaning and purpose in our lives, or do we want more stuff?

The Minimalists are two young men who had all the things that our culture tells us will make us happy and successful in life, but they weren't happy. Hear them share their story in this TED talk.

In the winter wonderland

Christmas is the season of ultimate joy and love. I experience so much joy this time of year, joy that comes in many different forms. I'm a very visual person so I love walking around our neighborhood enjoying the beautiful snowy landscapes and people's Christmas decorations. Thank you neighbors for giving me joy through your decorations! :)

I also love that Christmas is a season of generosity. I get so much joy from picking out gifts for friends and family, seeing their reactions when they open their gifts and joking with them about how I'm totally okay if they want to regift what I got for them.

Apparently new research has shown that people who spend their money on others rather than on themselves end up happier. It's exciting to me every time I see new research pointing to the same facts that has been known by wise people for generations. A generous life makes both us and others happier. If we choose to be selfless rather than self-centered its a win-win for everybody in the world, and what better time is there to start this new lifestyle than at Christmas time? :)