3 Tips for Marriage

Both romantic comedies and the last episode of every TV show seem to end with the same thing: the main characters get married and live happily ever after. Hollywood movies are fun to watch but they paint a very unrealistic picture of what marriage will be like. Our modern culture seem to think that a romantic relationship will satisfy our souls, in reality that is far from the truth.


Marriage was created by God as a tool that he uses to form and shape us toward holiness. Marriage is ultimately not about happiness, it's about selflessly serving another person. If we get good at serving each other in marriage happiness arrives as a very nice "side effect" of that lifestyle.


It's easy to love people that you only see once a week, it's much harder to love when you share your life with another human-being. This is why marriage and parenthood are two of the main tools that God uses to shape us toward holiness during our lifetime. Few things are more efficient at shaving off selfishness from our souls than becoming a wife and a mother. Marriage and parenthood reveals to the human-being that the universe doesn't revolve around her. We learn that this life is all about love, and that love is not self-seeking nor proud.

3 Ways to Fight Commitment Issues

Deep and authentic relationships with people is what make us come alive and bring meaning to our lives. But to be able to have deep and meaningful relationships with others we have to be willing to commit to people. If you have been deeply hurt by people before it's understandable that you have commitment issues, but it's not possible to experience the joy of a deep relationship without commitment.

If we fail to commit to others our friendships and romantic relationships will stay shallow and ultimately be meaningless. Getting vulnerable with others is always scary, but on the other side of that challenge is the reward of joy and meaning. We are all called to love God and love people. It's impossible to really love people without committing to them.

Happily ever after?

Today about half of all marriages don't last. If we want our marriages to last we are going to have to invest some time and energy into staying in love. I find that many people still believe that marriages should work on their own, and that if you have to work at it that's a sign that you are with the wrong person. If we are looking for a perfect person to share our lives with then this way of thinking makes sense, but chances are "the one" won't be perfect. We all have our personal "issues" and when two people with issues marry each other there will be problems. I think the better approach would be if we all decided we are going to educate ourselves about how to solve problems in romantic relationships, rather than trying to find a person to marry who doesn't have any issues.

My husband and I have friends who have promised each other to attend at least one marriage conference every year. Most cities offer some type of marriage conference a few times a year where couples can learn about how to stay in love and build a strong and happy marriage. I know another couple who have many kids and therefore decided that they will take one vacation a year just the two of them. I'm convinced that happy and healthy marriages require both planning and real effort. You don't get a great marriage by luck, you build a great marriage.

My husband and I have decided that we will read at least one book about marriage per year as one of the many things we do intentionally to build up our marriage. This year we chose the book: "From This Day Forward" by Craig and Amy Groeschel.