How can I love him back?

The ironic thing about life with God is that as new believers we are passionate about figuring out what the purpose is for our life. We boldly ask God questions like: “What’s my purpose?” and “What’s my calling in life? Please reveal it to me!” What happens when God answers our questions? We freak out. The response often sounds something like this: “Aaaaaah! Nooo, I don’t want to do that! That’s too scary and too big for me to accomplish! Don’t get me wrong God, it’s a beautiful plan, but are you sure you have the right woman for the job? I’m not strong enough for that calling. I don’t have enough courage to accomplish what you are calling me to do!”

God’s response to our fears is usually something like this: “I know, and that’s exactly why I chose you. You do not have what it takes, so the only way you are going to be able to accomplish this great task is by letting me do it through you.” God is a great God, and it should come as no surprise that He will call us to great things. Plans so beautiful and big that we get both excited and terrified at the same time when He reveals them to us. We are not the first people in history to have that response to God’s big and beautiful plans for our lives. When God chose Moses to lead the people of Israel Moses was convinced that God had chosen the wrong guy for the job, because Moses had a stuttering problem. But God knew exactly what he was doing, our limitations will not hinder God’s great plans for our lives, but our disobedience can.

The Bible calls us to love God and love other people. We know what we need to do to love other people; prioritize spending time with them and help them out. But how do we love God? It’s simple; we spend time with God through prayer and reading the Bible and we help him out. How can we help God? We help God out when we do what He is calling us to do. There’s something we were created for and when we do what God calls us to do we express our love for Him.

“Do we love God? Do we keep his commands? The proof that we love God comes when we keep his commandments and they are not at all troublesome.” (1 John 5:1-3 MSG)

It’s a joy, not a burden, to get to live this life serving God and follow his purpose for our lives but it’s also scary. Following God will often include the need to face some fears. If I’m only willing to obey God when I’m not afraid, then I won’t do much good in this life will I? There are a couple of different journeys that God is clearly calling me on during this season of my life and I haven’t started neither of them yet. Why? Because I’m terrified! Obeying God would require me to face a couple of my biggest fears. It’s tempting to listen more to my fear than I do to God. But what does that say about my love for God? If I know what God wants me to do during this season of life but I choose to disobey him because I’m afraid, then I don’t love Him very much do I? I’m not surprised that God is calling me on these two different journeys this year. Fear has too much power over my life and God clearly wants to change that. My problem is that I’m too content with life the way it is right now. I’d rather stay stuck and be comfortable than get up and face my biggest fears.

God loves me so much. He has given me so many beautiful gifts in this life since the day I was born. God gave me a loving and warm mother, a loving and protective father, a loving and kind brother and many wonderful friends growing up. God gave me a healthy body with arms and legs that work. I can walk, talk, sing and dance, my body is a beautiful gift from God. I was also gifted with the great honor, responsibility and blessing of being born in a country where I never had to worry about having enough food, clothing or a roof over my head growing up. God has given me so many beautiful gifts throughout my childhood and he continues to bless me every year in powerful and beautiful ways. How can I not love Him back?

I can choose to follow my fear, or I can choose to face my fears and obey God’s call on my life. It’s time to make that jump. I want to love God back! No more excuses. I know God will give me the courage I need for each step of the journey after I take that first step of obedience, so here we go! Step 1, check!

to be continued...