A Time for Reflection

This picture was taken in January 2017. The past year included wonderful blessings like our Renewal of Vows in July and difficult (but important) challenges like facing two of my biggest fears.

The beginning of a new year is a good time to stop and reflect. I like to think back on the year that passed and also take some time to think about the season I’m in at the moment. When I think about the past seven years I feel very grateful and blessed. I’ve seen many of my dreams come true during the past few years and I’ve met many new people and friends who enrich my life. I’ve grown tremendously during the past seven years and I’m excited to see how I will continue to grow and develop within the next ten years.


When I think about the pain I’ve experienced during the past seven years I can already see how many of the difficulties I’ve experienced have shaped me into a more humble, mature and wise woman than before. It’s not fun to go through difficulties in life but it’s hard to argue against the necessity of storms in life. I wish I could say that I’ve grown a lot during the easier days of my life but the truth is that I grew the most when I was going through something difficult.

There are storms in life that are caused by other people’s sinful choices but the hardest ones to face are often the storms that we cause ourselves. When I think back on the past ten years of my life I can see that some of the difficult storms that I faced were mainly my own fault. I often find it harder to forgive myself for making stupid mistakes than forgiving others. Every time I walk outside of God’s will in my life I end up in trouble. It always seems like a good idea at first, until I must face the consequences of my own sinful choices in life. God doesn’t punish me when I sin, I walk into judgement completely on my own. The Bible is clear that God will always bring down judgement on sin according to his timing, so when I choose to sin it’s like I’m walking toward a hurricane. God is not telling me to stay away from sin to limit me in life, but to keep me from harm and pain. God is like a safe house during a hurricane. Each one of us are given free choice by God and we can choose to either walk toward God or toward the hurricane. But why would anyone want to do something as self-destructive as walking toward the hurricane? The short answer is: because sin always looks harmless and attractive at first glance. 

Every year I take the time to read 4-5 books on personal development and spiritual development. "Find Your Brave" by Holly Wagner was one of the books I read in 2017, it helped me face two of my biggest fears. No matter what challenge you are faced with, you are not the first person in history to go through it. We can learn a lot from other people.

Every time I step outside of God’s will for my life I’m in the process of practicing self-destructive behavior. The problem is that sin always seems harmless, fun and attractive in the beginning. I choose to follow my own way rather than God’s way simply because sin seems like no big deal to me at first glance. After 32 years of having tried both living life my own way and God’s way I’m so done with ignoring God’s commands. How arrogant am I when I actually think that my own way is better than God’s way? I’m seldom surprised anymore when I run into “a hurricane” in life because deep inside my soul I already knew that I was disobeying God, but I was acting like it was no big deal.

God loves me more than any human on this Earth will ever love me. My parents and my family love me a lot, but God still loves me much more than that. Nobody will ever love me as much as God loves me and nobody cares more about my well-being in life than Him. If I’m smart I will listen to God’s directions and nudges in life rather than to ignore them and go my own way.

I can honestly say that I love getting older! Aging comes with more wrinkles but the wisdom and maturity that comes with aging is priceless! You can’t buy wisdom, you earn it as go through life and learn something from every blessing and mistake. I’m not expecting that 2018 is going to be “the best year of my life”, I’m pretty sure it will include both some amazing blessings and some really hard challenges, but I’m excited for both! This is what we live for: to keep growing in love and becoming more and more like Christ every year. God is love. The more time I spend in God’s presence, the more I will become filled with love. The fruit that the Holy Spirit produces in a person’s life is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Yes please, I’ll happily receive a big portion of that in 2018!