You don't have to settle

I remember being single and asking my friend if my expectations on men were too high. I had been dating many men who were the opposite of gentlemen and since there were so many of them out there I started to doubt if I was ever going to find someone better. I chose to be patient and not lower my standards. One year later I met the love of my life.

We will be tested in life in many different ways but settling is never the right option. Choosing to settle for a man who says that he loves you but who doesn't show you any respect will only lead to pain. If we choose to keep our hopes up and believe that the right guy is out there we will get to meet him one day.

My husband and I have both said that if we would have met each other one, two or five years earlier our relationship would have never worked. We weren't ready for each other before the day we met. We both had our own issues to work on and if we hadn't worked on those things prior to meeting each other our relationship would have failed. After you have worked on your own issues and developed great character "the one" will come find you. When the timing is right it will happen.

Never talk bad about your spouse in public

Jeff and Alyssa talk about why it's important to commit to never talking bad about your spouse in public. We see this type of behavior a lot in movies and TV shows, it makes great entertainment on TV but in real life it will create an atmosphere of death in your marriage rather than an atmosphere of life. Our words are so powerful, we can choose to either speak life or to speak death into our relationship.

No matter who we marry our spouse will have things about them that irritates us, but gossiping about these things with friends will not make things better. Jeff and Alyssa suggest that we talk to our spouse about the things that bothers us rather than to complain about our spouse with others. It's also a great idea to have an older married couple to talk to and get marriage advice from. You can both agree on a couple that can become your marriage mentors. This couple will become the people you always go to with your struggles when you are in need of outside advice. Your marriage mentors will be a safe place to ask questions, talk about your issues and receive wisdom because you know that this couple is for you and want your marriage to succeed.

Man, I've got a lot of issues!

Marriage and parenthood are things that really make sense to me, I feel like I partly understand why God created them. You can choose to keep friends and relatives at a comfortable distance if you want, but your kids and spouse will always be around you. Few things will help us grow more in life than marriage and parenthood. I honestly thought that I was “a good person” until I met my husband and got married, then I realized how many issues I have. It was a very sobering experience. Sometimes I wonder how in the world my husband even agreed to marry me. I was seriously self-centered, immature and negative when I got married. Today I’m still very, very far from being perfect but it’s exciting to see how far I’ve come!

My husband is my greatest cheerleader in life and he believes in me even when I don’t believe in myself. He definitely helps me grow and mature both spiritually and mentally every year, and he tells me I do the same for him. I’m assuming this must be why marriage and parenthood were created, to help us grow. Few things will be more challenging in life than marriage and parenthood, but our kids and spouse can also be our best “personal trainers” when it comes to growing stronger mentally and spiritually every year.