Who's Your Saul?

We all have people in our lives who irritate us and make our lives difficult. We think to ourselves: “If only that person could go away my life would be so much better.” We are right, our lives would be easier without that annoying person in it. Clearly comfort and ease isn’t God’s highest priority for us in this life, what God wants for us is holiness. What is holiness? Choosing to do the right thing despite the challenges, not because your life is free from challenges. If we take a closer look at our lives we will notice that this life is all about growth, God is refining us in the fire. It isn’t easy or comfortable to grow, but that is what this life is all about. Heaven will be different, heaven will be completely free from evil, but this world will never be that way.

King David was a guy who was tempted to get rid off the man who was making his life a living hell. David had an enemy named Saul who tried to kill him. One day when Saul was out looking for David with plans to kill him David had a chance to kill Saul. I bet David thought about it long and hard. He finally had a chance to kill the guy who was making his life so difficult. A chance to get rid off the problem once and for all. What problem or person do you have in your life that you wish you could get rid off?

David ended up feeling conscience-stricken for even considering the option of taking Saul’s life. David realized something that few of us realize. Was Saul making David’s life very difficult? Yes. Could God take away this difficult person out of David’s life if he wanted to? Yes. Then maybe, just maybe, there was a reason God left this difficult person in David’s life. What if that difficult person or problem that you want to get rid off is God’s tool for shaping you and growing you? We don’t just wake up one day and realize that we are holy. God is shaping us toward holiness every single day in this life. The truth is, if we only surround ourselves with people who like us and agree with us we don’t grow. There is a purpose for every blessing and there is a purpose for every struggle. What is God trying to grow in you through your current struggle? Is it patience? Is it compassion for others? Is God using this difficult situation in your life as a tool to shave off some of that selfishness in your heart?

When people are making our lives a living hell we hate them (or at least we resent them). We don’t want to honor them and respect them. The only way we can show honor and respect to a difficult person is if we zoom out. If we zoom in we notice that this difficult person has some serious issues that he/she should work on. Issues that isn’t our responsibility. But if we zoom out we will notice that there are some issues in our own soul that is making us choose to resent, disrespect or even hate the difficult person. 

We are all called by God to love people. The Bible is not calling us to love the nice, fun, friendly, happy, perfect people who have no issues. No, the Bible calls us to love people period. We all like the idea of love, until we realize how difficult love really is to accomplish. Here’s the thing: we say we want to be “all about love” but we lie to ourselves. Many times during the week we do not want love. We want to resent, dishonor, disrespect and maybe even hate others. We choose love. 

Love is always a choice. And God, who is in the business of shaping us toward holiness, is watching every step we take and seeing how we treat both the nice person and the difficult person. I’m not responsible for anyone else’s actions, but I’m responsible for every single one of my own actions. David says this about his difficult situation: “The LORD forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the LORD’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the LORD.” (1 Samuel 24:6) 

If we are going to be able to love people, even when they are making our lives difficult, we need to realize that every person on this Earth is God’s child. How dare we even consider doing something evil toward one of God’s children? Yes, this world is filled with people who are messed up and practicing evil, but that does not mean that we are free to hate them or dishonor them. When we realize that every situation we are faced with is a lesson in love and righteousness, we will be able to choose love. 

Here’s another thought: if we choose to not learn our lesson now, we can be sure that once our problem is gone God will send another difficult person our way to teach us that same lesson. There’s been so many times in my life that I believed that my problems would be over if only that difficult person was out of my life. I was wrong. Unless I learn what God is trying to teach me I will continue to run into similar problems year after year, and then I wonder why I have such “bad luck” in life. Let’s not waste our lives on repeating the same mistakes year after year.

Leaders and Followers

There will come a time in life when we need to step up and be a leader, and there will be other times when we need to follow. I wasn’t designed to live this life following other people, but I often do just that. It starts in Elementary school when we learn what types of music we should listen to, what clothes we need to wear and how we should think and feel. As an adult, I’m fully aware of how I should dress, talk, think, work, play etc. Humans live in communities, which means our lives will always be influenced by how other people live. This isn’t necessarily all bad, but we need to understand what makes us unique so we don’t end up living exactly like our friends or co-workers just because that’s what’s expected of us.

I watched a video last Christmas from when I was two years old. I can’t believe how eye-opening it was to watch that video as an adult. I looked at this little girl in the video who clearly wasn’t comfortable in big crowds but who flourished when she got to spend time with her own family. That little girl is me, and guess how I have treated her? Over the years I have forced myself to spend a lot of time in crowded environments, although my whole being prefers calm and quiet. I have tried to live the way I’m expected to live based on all the current ideals my culture holds dear, but many of those ideals don’t fit me. I have thought to myself: “I should be more like this, and less like that.”

The truth is this: God didn’t make a mistake when he created me, I am who he made me to be. I need to stop trying to fit the culture around me and start being myself. I will always have areas where I need to develop self-control, strength and character, but I don’t need to change who I am. My lack of self-control is a problem, my personality is not. When it comes to the relationship between me and other people I need to learn to be a leader and stop being a follower. It doesn’t matter what other people think I should do, I need to be the leader in my own life and stop following other people’s opinions.

My relationship with God is the complete opposite to my relationship with other people. I tend to bow to other people’s opinions when I should take on the responsibility of being the leader in my own life. When it comes to my relationship with God I need to learn o be a follower, but I tend to leave God out of all the important decisions I make. A few years ago, I was still “a baby-Christian” and I honestly used to think that it was unnecessary to read the Bible every week and pray to God before making any big decisions. Fast forward a few years later and it has become crystal clear to me why I need to seek God’s counsel. I could have spared myself from a lot of unnecessary pain and complications if I had taken the time to seek God’s counsel before making my big decisions. Nowadays I try to practice asking God for what I should do before I make big decisions. It’s fascinating how well things work out when I include God in the decision-making process, even when it looks like things won’t work out God literally shows up to move mountains so that things work out after all.

I’m a perfectionist and a control-freak so to let God lead in my life hasn’t been an easy transition, mainly because it’s all about letting go and learning to trust God. The great news is that the more I have learned to depend on God and trust Him the less worried I have become. I used to be very worried about many things a few years ago, today I’m hardly ever worried. Every time I feel worries starting to creep in I pray to God and ask him to intervene in whatever circumstance I’m worried about. When I know that God has it all in His hands I can let go.

Fear is another thing that wants to creep in and hinder us from depending on God and trusting Him. My greatest weapons against fear is prayer and worship. When I’m afraid I pray to God and ask him to bless me with His peace and joy, because I badly need it. If I’m very afraid I turn to worship next and sing a few worship songs to God. As I worship God I can feel the fear lifting off me and peace comes over me. When I’m worshipping God, I’m giving Him control of my situation and at the same time I’m reminding myself of his love for me, his strength and his power. Here’s three of my favorite worship songs that I like to sing to God when I’m afraid:

“You Never Let Go” by Bryan&Katie Torwalt

“Call Upon The Lord” by Elevation Worship

“The War” by Leeland

Why does God want me to be a follower? It’s not because he’s a control-freak or some strict military sergeant. The Bible describes God as “our Heavenly Father”. God wants me to follow him because he loves me and wants what’s best for me. God will not always call me to do things that are fun or easy, but He knows what I need. One year God might ask me to forgive someone when all I want to do is stay bitter. God might ask me to give up some comfort in my life to be able to help someone else. Over the years God has asked me to do both things I just mentioned and countless other things that I did not feel like doing. Sometimes what God is calling me to do will be fun and exciting, other times it will be the last thing I want to do. Did you want to do all the things your loving parents told you to do growing up? Probably not. Are you grateful today that your loving parents taught you many great lessons that developed good character in you? Yes. Following God will not always be easy, but God knows exactly what he is doing, He always has our best interest at heart.

Today I can look back at the last 15 years of my life and see how God used many difficult situations to form me, teach me and grow good character in me. I made some bad mistakes along the way that caused me (and others) pain, but now I know better. The more I learn to follow God and His plan for my life the more joy, peace, meaning and contentment I get to experience in my life every year. Every year I think to myself: “Life doesn’t get better than this” and then it does! The following year I get to experience even more peace, meaning and joy. God truly is the giver of good gifts, when you think life can’t get any better he surprises you with even more blessings!

When You Decide, You Will Be Free

That thing that is holding you back in life, that thing that is keeping you in bondage, when you decide to shake it off you will be free. Many times we keep complaining about being in a state in our lives that we don't like, but we are unwilling to look within and find the real solution for our problems. Too many times we are looking for outside sources to solve internal issues. Pastor Michan Carter explains it this way: "We either are complaining that someone's not doing something for us, or we are saying someone did something to us, and we use that as an excuse to never look at us."


Here's the thing with the "issues" we carry around with us through life: "If you don't deal with it, it will deal with you" says pastor Michan Carter. It's tempting to avoid our own issues rather than to look within and deal with our stuff, but the price for issues left undealt with is high. They have the power to ruin our lives and hurt the people we love the most, unless we face them and deal with them. Pastor Michan Carter preaches a great sermon about how we can get free from whatever is holding us back and making us bitter during this season in life.

The Beauty Ideal & the things we pursue

All young women, welcome to the world of adults! Let me introduce you to our beauty ideals. Step 1: Make sure you have no wrinkles, not even one. Get Botox early, you should probably start injecting it at age 19.

Step 2: The thinner you are, the better!

Step 3: Don't think you are off the hook because you are older than 40, even older women can have a face completely free of wrinkles, so don't you dare settle for anything less!

This morning I started my day with a cup of coffee and the Toronto Star as usual. Today’s sad news was an article in the Star that reported that Botox use among people under the age of 30 has gone up significantly. It’s becoming more common for Millennials to start taking Botox early to prevent aging. The Toronto-based plastic and cosmetic surgeon interviewed in the article explains that when the Millennials start to see signs of wrinkles it freaks them out and they decide to start taking Botox to prevent aging.

Toronto Star reporter Azzura Lalani reports in the article called “Millennials using Botox to hold on to young look, surgeons say” that the use of Botox has increased with 41 % among Millennials. Azzura Lalani writes the following in the November 22, 2016 issue of Toronto Star:

“The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery reported that Botox treatments for people between the ages of 19 to 34 shot up by 41 per cent between 2011 and 2015.”

As I read the news I was saddened by how beauty obsessed our society has become. What made me react to the article was that I had those same feeling in my early twenties. When I was 20-years-old and started getting my first fine lines I remember freaking out about them. I remember thinking that I wish I had more money so that I could get Botox. Luckily for me I was a poor student and Botox was never even an option available. I grew up and the more documentaries I watched the more convinced I got that there was nothing wrong with my face. I finally realized that my face and body wasn’t the problem, but that the beauty ideal was a real problem. I learned that contentment doesn’t sell products. Advertisers want me to think that I need to look younger, be thinner and that I need to update my wardrobe constantly, contentment doesn’t sell.

It’s easy to read news like the article about Botox and feel that there is no hope for a culture that seems obsessed with beauty, power and money. Later in the morning I checked my Instagram account and I was reminded that the obsession with money, power and beauty is not the ideal everywhere. I checked the Instagram account for The A21 Campaign and read about how these people had rescued a girl from sex slavery in the US last week. The people who work for A21 have chosen to pursue something different in their lives than the ideals we are sold. I also checked the Instagram account for Amazima ministries and I was reminded once again that not all Millennials worry about wrinkles and beauty. Katie Davis was 18-years-old when she decided that she wanted to spend her life towards helping other people. Katie moved to Jinja, Uganda one year later and started helping poor children get food and education through her ministry Amazima.

Katie Davis grew up in the same culture as me, surrounded by messages that tell us beauty, money and power matters, but she chose a different path in life. Katie Davis chose to give up her comfortable life in a wealthy Nashville suburb to live in a much poorer neighborhood in Africa because she wanted to make a difference during her days on Earth. In a world that tells us that we need to pursue beauty, money, status and power Katie Davis chose something different. Katie chose to spend her life loving other people, to serve the poor and needy in the world. Today Katie Davis is 27-years-old and if you look at pictures of her you can see that she has a few wrinkles around her eyes, but I don’t think she worries about wrinkles or beauty. Katie Davis Majors is busy caring for and loving her adoptive daughters, her newborn son, her husband and all the poor families she is helping through Amazima. The A21 Campaign features a quote on their Instagram account that I like:

“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”

Jane Goodall

“People tell me I am brave. People tell me I am strong. People tell me good job. Well here is the truth of it. I am really not that brave, I am not really that strong, and I am not doing anything spectacular. I am just doing what God called me to do as a follower of Him.”

Katie Davis Majors

God & Community

Why do we need community? What role do others play in our spiritual growth? The Curiosity Collective brings together thought leaders, subject matter experts, pastors, and theologians to explore these questions.

The cost of deep relationships

If you only want to read one book this year I would recommend the book "Restless" by Jennie Allen. In Restless Jennie Allen helps the reader see how each one of us have a unique set of gifts, passions, places, relationships and past experiences that are all part of our purpose in life. If you want to figure out what God's plan is for your life and what specific gift you have that you can give back to the world this book will help you find it.

Today I wanted to share three quotes from Jennie's book Restless that points out why it's important for us to start thinking about what God's plan is for our lives. None of us knows how many days we have left to live, so figuring out the purpose for our lives isn't something that can wait. Jennie Allen has a friend named Julie who has died twice, she knows exactly how precious life is. At the beginning of Chapter 15 (pages 130-131) in the book Restless Jennie Allen writes:

"I want to tell you more about my good friend who has died twice. Julie Manning was resuscitated both times, but due to a heart condition, could die again at any point. She doesn't live like anyone else I know. She doesn't waste time with small talk. No one wastes time with Julie, because when you're eating Mexican food on her deck, life feels short.

Julie is thirty-five and has two young boys who know how to dial 911. But Julie is not afraid. She teaches us to not fear death. People who have died get to tell us to be afraid or not.

The day we thought Sarah Henry would go to Jesus, Julie sat beside her bed whispering secrets of hope and life after death. She whispered her memories.

"Sarah, there is complete light and complete peace. You will not worry about your children. You will not fear anything. You will just feel completely overwhelmed by the presence of God. Do not be afraid, friend."

We are often afraid of what we don't know or understand. We don't know what will happen after we die so most of us are afraid of dying. Julie isn't afraid, because she has already experienced it twice. Julie also has something most of us lack; she knows what matters most in life. Julie knows that she will meet God when this life is over, so she lives life to the fullest, determined to not waste any time but to love God and love people every minute of her life. Most of us don't think about what will matter after we die, so we live in the moment and we focus much of our energy on things that won't matter in the end. Jennie Allen describes in Restless how Julie's experiences have affected her own approach to life, on page 131 she writes:

"As my dear friend lay likely facing God that day, no words could ever have comforted me more. Heaven and God aren't myths to Julie; she has tasted them. So every moment we are together we make the very most of it.
Every one of us have people in our lives whom we need and people who need us. Are we intentionally spending our time in those two categories? Or are we casually bumping up against each other with no real purpose to receive or give love?
If we are honest, it is costly to love people. So you know what we do instead of doing the difficult work of loving them? We piddle. We waste the precious time we have."

When it comes down to it, it will always be easier to do the wrong thing in life. It will always be easier to see someone in need and choose to look the other way. It will always be easier to stop visiting that person in your family who is really hard to love. It will always be easier to push down that voice in your heart that says: "You need to do more to help others in the world". Love is always going to be costly. Jennie Allen mentions the cost of deep relationships in Restless on page 131 where she writes:

"It is easier to survive this life on the surface, brushing up against people gently, rather than doing the mess of intentionally loving them. Love takes risk. Love takes forgiveness and grace. Love takes effort, time, and commitment. You commit not to bolt when it gets hard, because it will get hard.
And if this is the cost of deep relationship, we just don't have capacity and space to go deep with everyone. So we have to become intentional."

Letting go of grudges

Few things can make us more miserable and negative than holding on to grudges against people. The reality is that we live in a world filled with imperfect people so it's inevitable that we will get offended and hurt by others from time to time. We can't avoid getting hurt in life but we can decide how we will act when it happens. We don't have to carry around our hurt feelings and let them grow into resentment toward others.

The best thing we can do to avoid holding grudges is learning to voice our hurt when it happens. If we can express how we feel to the person who offended us chances are high that the person will apologise, but even if we don't get an apology we will have voiced how we feel which makes all the difference. When we put our feelings into words we won't have to carry the negative feelings around with us any longer.

The value of a soul

Three different people share their life stories in this video about how they did not know that they were valuable and felt useless for a long time in their lives. Over time God showed each one of these people that he loves them and that they are very valuable and precious to him.

Time with people that we love

Shauna Niequist speaks about friendship and prioritizing spending time with the people that we love. We all need to surround ourselves with people who can speak life and love into our lives. Your friends should be people who celebrate your successes and who want you to do well in life. Once you surround yourself with people who can both give and receive love your friendships will become one of the main things in life that help you grow as a human being.

What do you want from me God?

My Bible has 1445 pages. It's easy to start thinking that this thing that people call Christianity is really complicated, since it takes that many pages to lay down the rules. It turns out the opposite is true. The more I read in the Bible the more I find that every story is pretty much the same. It goes something like this:

God loves the people, but the people choose to turn their backs on God. The people fill their lives with different types of sin and don't care about doing the right thing anymore. God brings down devastation on the people. The people eventually realize their wrongs and repent and turn back to God. The people go on loving their God and loving each other. God loves the people.
A few decades later the people have forgotten why God matters and turn their backs on him (again).

The same cycle continues, over and over again. God's greatest command for humanity is to love God and to love each other. It's not a complicated command, but it's still so easy to turn away and choose selfishness instead. If I was to ask God: "Okay God, this book of yours has a lot of pages so could you please narrow it down for me? What is it that you want from me?" I have a feeling that God's answer would be this:

"This is my command: Love each other."
John 15:17 NIV

Okay, that sounds simple one might think, but when we look closer at this chapter we see that it isn't just any kind of love that Jesus talks about, but the deepest one of all:

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."
John 15:12-13 NIV

We spend so much of our time building up our lives. We are building a career, building up a retirement fund, building up our status, image or brand. Then Jesus comes into our lives with his very counter-cultural command, saying that we should "lay down" our lives for other people. We spend so much time trying to get things, but according to Jesus it seems like the point with life isn't about what we get, it's in what we give.

Love is a verb, when we love others we do something for them. Here's a few examples of what we can do for others: We can help, comfort, encourage, protect, parent, feed, adopt, clothe, support, heal, nurse and forgive. You can add your own verb. Who around you needs some of your love today? Choose one of the verbs above and get to it! :) It's not complicated, it's mission possible.

Living The Life of Love-What could that look like?

There are seven billion people on this planet so living The Life Of Love is going to look very different for each one of us. Jesus simply said "come, follow me", we are called to live a life following in His footsteps. We all have different skills and unique gifts, but each one of us were created to fill a specific need in the world. We are all very important pieces of the puzzle.

Jessie and John have hearts that ache for the orphans in this world, they have chosen to walk in Jesus' footsteps by loving and adopting orphans. What does your heart ache for? I like what Mother Teresa said about love:

"We can not do great things on this Earth, only small things with great love."
Mother Teresa

"I alone can not change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples."
Mother Teresa

"I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things."
Mother Teresa